02 March 2007
  après les oscars
i don't know who produces the academy awards, but i think they might have down syndrome. and i don't even think it is like cute corky-from-life-goes-on down syndrome, but it is like full blown swedish chef level mental retardation. i mean what else could possibly explain someone saying-- hey, you know what this awards ceremony needs. . . interpretive dancers! then you have the endless inane montages. what the hell does that mean anyway? it's like, hey here are a bunch of movies from the past that have nothing to do with one another. . . enjoy. none of this boring pointlessness would have mattered much to me except for two things:

#1 the producer feels the need to play almost every single winner off stage, but she still has time to show a bunch of lame dancers making penguins out of themselves?!? HEY PRODUCER BITCH. people actually like hearing the award winners' speeches. NOBODY likes interpretive dancers.

#2 four effing hours.

on the good side, ellen was a pretty good host more or less. i guess after the past two years the hosts (chris rock and john stewart) have set the bar pretty low, so i wasn't expecting much to start with. even though ellen wasn't all that funny, she was really nice, which i liked. i don't understand why the hosts always have to take digs at people in the audience. it is just mean spirited especially in light of the situation. ellen didn't do that, so i enjoyed her if only for that reason. (plus, personally, i just think she is a really great person, so i am happy for her).

as for the awards themselves, (you mean they actually give out awards there?!?) there weren't a whole lot of surprises-- good or bad. alan arkin beat out eddie murphy for supporting actor which gave me a little pleasure. not that i actually was rooting for alan arkin or anything, but i was happy to see eddie murphy lose. what a tool. the biggest disappointment was probably pan's labyrinth losing best foreign film to some stupid movie from germany that nobody has ever even seen. i don't know how they vote for foreign film, but they really need to fix it. it seems the wrong movie ALWAYS wins that category.

and then there is cinematography. don't get me wrong, the camera work in pan's was pretty good, but how could those amazing shots from children of men not impress the voters? i am in awe about it.

as for the best moment of the night, i will have to go with john on this one. i couldn't have been happier to see melissa etheridge win the best song category. first of all, her song was simply the best-- hands down. but to see her kiss her wife when they announced her name and then thank her on the stage was really cool. for one brief moment, late at night, after several glasses of wine, i wished i was a lesbian.

p.s. out of the 12 awards i predicted, i got 9 right which i think was pretty decent. *yea* for me
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